no bitchassne$$

●  THIS SEASON · 2026 · LEAGUE TYCOON

THE 2026 SEASON

League activation underway. Rookie Draft locked for July 15. Free Agency Draft locked for August 28. Schedule weeks 1–4 confirmed below.

Rookie Draft

Locked

Wed · Jul 15, 2026

FA Draft (Auction)

Locked

Fri · Aug 28, 2026

Draft Location

Pending

To Be Announced

●  HEADING INTO 2026

REIGNING CHAMPION

Cajun Kev (Kevin) carries the 2025 title into 2026 — 11-3 regular season, dominant 182.7-point championship win, fifth ring on file.

2025 Championship · Week 17

Cajun Kev def. Obi-Wan Jakeobi

182.7 — 142.5

Kevin Hanna's fifth ring on file. The dynasty is officially documented in the constitutional record.

3rd-Place Game

Hot Snakes def. Krook

127.9 — 108.1

Best Single-Week Score · 2025

Team Dad Dick · Week 15

217.2 (all-time record)

●  2026 · SCHEDULE

WEEKS 1–4

Confirmed matchups from League Tycoon. Later weeks populate as the platform publishes them. Scores will fill in starting Week 1.

Week 1

Pre-kickoff

  • Obi-Wan Jakeobi

    @

    Hot Snakes

  • Tuddy Nuns

    @

    Krook

  • TBD

    @

    Team 9

  • Projext Four Toe Six Nine

    @

    QUEEFS

  • Cajun Kev

    @

    TDD

Week 2

Pre-kickoff

  • Obi-Wan Jakeobi

    @

    Krook

  • Hot Snakes

    @

    Team 9

  • Tuddy Nuns

    @

    QUEEFS

  • TBD

    @

    TDD

  • Projext Four Toe Six Nine

    @

    Cajun Kev

Week 3

Pre-kickoff

  • Obi-Wan Jakeobi

    @

    Team 9

  • Krook

    @

    QUEEFS

  • Hot Snakes

    @

    TDD

  • Tuddy Nuns

    @

    Cajun Kev

  • TBD

    @

    Projext Four Toe Six Nine

Week 4

Pre-kickoff

  • Obi-Wan Jakeobi

    @

    QUEEFS

  • Team 9

    @

    TDD

  • Krook

    @

    Cajun Kev

Weeks 5–17 import once posted by League Tycoon.

●  2026 · ROOKIE DRAFT ORDER

ROUND 1 ORDER

Post-lottery. The 2025 champion drafts last; the 2025 worst-finisher drafts first (TBD won the weighted lottery for the #1 overall pick).

  1. 01

    TBD

    Patrick (CJ MckLucthin)

    1st overall
  2. 02

    Tuddy Nuns

    Manager TBD

  3. 03

    TDD

    Zack (Dad Dick)

  4. 04

    Team 9

    Mike (Beta Asian)

  5. 05

    QUEEFS

    Jared (Queefs)

  6. 06

    Projext Four Toe Six Nine

    Richard (Big Rich)

  7. 07

    Krook

    Austin (Krook)

  8. 08

    Hot Snakes

    Sean (Snake)

  9. 09

    Obi-Wan Jakeobi

    Jake (JG20)

  10. 10

    Cajun Kev

    Kevin (Cajun Kev)

    Champion picks last

●  LEAGUE OFFICE · STATUS

ACTIVATION UNDERWAY

League Tycoon requires each manager to activate their team before the season locks. Activation deadline: September 2.

Activated Teams

1/ 10

Cajun Kev (Kev) activated on April 2. Nine teams remain. Activation deadline is September 2 — failure to activate routes you to the Bitchass Absence Fee.

Commissioner: Zack (TDD) · Co-commish powers: Richie (granted 4/22/26)